Coming up with the song-list and order for the album was the toughest part of creating "Love Fuelled Hate". I wasn't just looking for my best songs, I was looking for songs that stuck to the storyline. I had pages and pages of lyrics, I remember sitting in my old bedroom in my parents house trying to order the songs in an A4 folder as if I was trying to read a story and on the side I had a bullet-point list of the film-script I was creating alongside it. I was so anal about it all, I must have listened and read the lyrics for 5 hours. I really wanted the "love" side to be 22mins 22 seconds and the "hate" side to be 22mins 22 secs but in the end I decided there were more important factors than numerology.
The benefit of not having a label was that I didn't have anyone else interfering, but it was also a curse because I had to be objective about something that was so deeply personal to me plus I had to self-fund it all take full responsibility for every decision. If this thing turned out to be crap I'd only have myself to blame. I wasn't overly concerned with whether the album would be popular, but I put myself underimmense pressure to make something I'd be proud of in years to come. It was definitely something I hoped future fans might choose to go back and listen to and fall in love with down the line. Something "of it's time" yet "timeless". Something fully considered. A "work of art" maybe even a "masterpiece" that may not be understood right now but might one day. I wanted to be able to reject any criticism in the knowledge that I'd done the best I could at that point in my life, and I know I achieved that.
Getting back to the song-list. I had to decide which songs were gonna make the cut before I got in the studio because I couldn't afford studio-time for songs that weren't going to be used. "You Said You Loved Me" was a song that was really close to making the cut but didn't quite make it. You can hear a sneak-preview of it in an interlude at the end of Track 9 "Lie To Me" before Track 10 "Hammer". I think the reason for it getting cut was mainly because it was so unfinished compared to the other demos I had. But check out this never-before-heard unreleased recording (note, this is an unfinished rough demo):
I might not have had a label, but thankfully I had a manager that really cared. I called him at 10pm after finishing the song-listing and invited him to my cold-empty house to listen to the whole album (excluding the yet to be recorded interludes intros/outros). I hadn't played the album to anyone and was super anxious and I had to verbalise what was gonna happen in each interlude. He was able to take everything I said and help me to formalise a plan for what needed to be recorded to connect the songs before taking it to Joe Kearns to get mixed. Thankfully he loved it. Here's a video of our 3 hour meeting condensed! Love you Umong <3