The original concept I had for my “Home With You” music video was all about body confidence, self-acceptance and the celebration of others. It sometimes feels like judging each other has become modern-societies biggest form of entertainment and too often it’s based on the way we look, what size we are, what clothes we wear, what shaped nose we have etc. Some of my wisest most intelligent friends have fallen victim to those pressures, they’re desperate to reach a completely unattainable beauty standard and feel like they’re an ugly failure when they’re not able to “fix” themselves despite spending endless amounts of cash on treatments and other extreme methods. You can’t blame people for starting to feel body-conscious when every day there’s a magazine or news article passing comment on things like celebrities beach-bodies, cellulite or spotty skin.
The video concept (in it’s most basic form) was to have people of all shapes, sizes, races, ages, physical anomalies etc to get naked and celebrate each other on screen. In essence to say they’re at home with every part of themselves and they’re at home with everyone else too. To symbolically boldly choose to accept and love themselves and accept and love everyone else as well and be fully comfortable. But finding nude volunteers to be in a low-budget pop video (albeit a fun challenge) was freakin difficult. I managed to get around 3 people to agree but they were all the same race, body-shape and age, and with the key to this video being diversity having 3 similar people wasn’t going to be effective. Unfortunately due to budget and time constraints I had to let go of that idea, but the studio and crew were booked and a music video needed to be made so..what’s a girl to do? “The show must go on…”
I showed up to the freshly painted studio (so fresh that I couldn’t walk on it without getting paint all over me) with no outfit (other than the Elle Exxe gown I’d embellished the night before) no extras and no idea of what was gonna come out of it all, but I trusted my co-director Michael and knew we could still make something special with what little we had. It was a powerful experience for me, getting naked in front of a camera crew (of mostly men) with my hair glued to my nipples (to avoid censorship later). I’d always been the type of person who couldn’t walk around without one arm covering my chest but suddenly I was in front of 10 people with no choice but to be confident. I felt a new sense of empowerment.
It was revealing in more than one way, I’d recently gotten engaged but having always kept my private life very private, I hadn’t announced it. I designed my engagement ring but didn’t know if it had been manufactured yet. I phoned my fiancé from the set to ask if the ring had arrived and if he’d be willing to bring it to me to wear on the shoot, he answered “yes” and “yes”…although I think I probably destroyed any romantic plans he might have had to surprise me with it. All I wore was my engagement ring whilst singing one of my most sentimental love songs that ends with the lyrics “I’ll hand you my trusting and when I say ‘I do’ I’ll never stop loving you”. I’ve always found it easy to sing about the things that make me unhappy, but it’s always been hard for me to talk about my happier and more affectionate emotions. The video totally captured a natural vulnerability with me emotionally and physically naked.
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